Now that I am in my late teens, I feel like I have learnt a lot during the past few years, whether it be more personal or general things, so I thought summarising them in a blog post would be the perfect way to collate all of my ideas.
(MOST IMPORTANTLY) Be Popular on Social Media. IT’S YOUR LIFE!
As we all know, if you are a teenager your entire life revolves around social media, so the easiest way to become popular is to be funny on it by posting hilarious status’s so you can rack up all of them likes that you so eagerly crave. Hopefully you’ll reach 100 likes, then you are golden on social media and you might even got a comment of congratulations from your weird Aunt Debbie. I’m afraid if you aren’t connected to any form of social media then you are classed as weird and should be removed from the situation IMMEDIATELY, or if you get a measly 10 likes on your profile picture then you must delete it ASAP! otherwise it’s basically a form of social suicide. You also need to basically become a politician and post opinionated posts during a time of controversial events and then you’ll get loads of likes and comments, and people saying ‘OMG so true xox’. If you don’t then you are basically a nobody and do not exist in this technological driven world.
Instagram Every thing that looks cool. (make sure you get a fab filter too !!! )
One really crucial point I’ve learnt from my teenage years is that if you ever have a lovely looking meal, or buy some new trainers then you MUST Instagram them ASAP and put a really edgy filter on it to show your many followers how wisely you spend your money and definitely do not boast about it. There must be loads of hashtags at the bottom too so more random people can see it and follow you, as the amount of Instagram followers you have define you as a person. Also, the comments must include some form of emojis, too. Preferably the ones with the love hearts in their eyes and the fireball emoji because they are life and makes you look super hip.
Take a Snapchat Every time you go out to a Party, It will make you Look Really Popular!
One of the main necessities that you need to do is always post a snapchat with you and your friends when you’re out and about, just so all of them random people on your snapchat friends list that you kind of know, are more than aware that you’re having a great time in Costa and you actually do have a social life and go outside. If you do not have snapchat then you are massively missing out because you’re not partaking in taking copious amounts of selfies and adding all these crazy effects and filters which make you look really out-going and fun. So moral of the story, every time you go out you must upload pictures and selfies to your story, (which HAS be of more than 3 minutes long).
Education Doesn’t Really Matter!
Hey, who cares if you fail that exam? It doesn’t matter, all you need to do is marry someone rich! Do that and all your worries will just magically disappear as money solves everything. Plus, who cares how many qualifications you have when all that is important is what colour you should get your nails painted!
Learn to Handle Straight Vodka!
One of the most important things i’ve learnt is to handle straight spirits, if you don’t then there is no point in going out clubbing anyway. If your friend shouts at you to down that shot, then you have to complete it in less than three seconds as you have no choice in the matter. If you wince whilst taking the shot then you look a loser and may as well go home then. You cannot make any facial expressions and respond to the burn down your throat, instead you must do it discreetly by pretending it’s a refreshing shot of water and in the process you look as cool as a cucumber, as well as burning your liver. Yummy.
*I hope you realise I am being sarcastic throughout this blog post and all of the above are silly and obviously not important and incorrect, I just love to be sarcastic! (although the amount of Instagram followers you have are LIFE).*
Ellen Grace X